sitting down
staring at the darkness
through my window
i think about you

going crazy
with the sound of silence
i hear you crying
so many miles away

it's not easy but i know you and I will be fine.

its easy to laugh at the times we cried
but i didn't know that those times
we laughed made me cry the most.

the 4 walls of my room
are squeezing me
i am all alone once again
in this lonely night

what's new?
i loved and loved and return
in the end
was it worth it?

Curtains about to close

Sun Sets
Darkness Begins
Tears fall
Soul cries
Love dies
Curtains about to close

But the show must go on.

my first impromptu tagalog poem.. hahha

made when i was chatting with her on ym.. hahaha


bartbart13: kasalanan ko ba na mahal na mahal kita at magpamiss sa yo para hanaphanapin ako
bartbart13: kasalanan bang gusto kita makita ngayon.. at isipin ka bwat oras oras
bartbart13: bawat minuto.. bawat segundo lumilipas
lilbam421: ano to copy paste
lilbam421: haha
bartbart13: kasalanan ba ang hinahanap ang kislap ng iyong mga mata everytime na kinakausap kita
lilbam421: sinisira ko ang moment
lilbam421: haha
bartbart13: kasalanan bang gusto kong halikan ka araw araw.. gabi gabi.. at parati nalang na kasama kita
lilbam421: hay nako tamang tama talaga.. pinplay ko ang mr. suave
bartbart13: kasalanan bang kahit magmukha akong tanga kakahabol sayo.. kakaalaga sayo.. kakamahal sayo e.. patuloy ko parin gagawin
bartbart13: habang buhay
lilbam421: ituloy mo beb
bartbart13: well kung kasalanan lahat yun.. ihahanda ko ng mabuhay sa impyerno.. kasi sa piling mo kahit sandali lang
bartbart13: akoy lumilipad sa ulap at lumulutang kasama ng mga anghel
bartbart13: sa langit na ikaw at wala ng iba
lilbam421: d lang pala sa engligh magaling gumawa ng poem pati tagalog
lilbam421: aba
lilbam421: impressive
bartbart13: pang magbibigay sa akin.. ang irog ko
bartbart13: bow
bartbart13: naks
bartbart13: ngayon ko lang nabasa lahat
bartbart13: im soooo good...
bartbart13: hehehe
bartbart13: makopya nga.. lagay ko sa poemko blog hehehhe
bartbart13: wait lang...
lilbam421: hahahaa
lilbam421: ano to imptromptu
bartbart13: yep.. my first tagalog love poem
lilbam421: impromptu
bartbart13: bwahahahha
lilbam421: hhh,,
bartbart13: and impromptu

Waking up, Just lying in bed

Waking up, just lying in bed,
I see the sun shining brightly from my window
As I think about you…
again and again and again
.
It’s so hard to explain this feeling,
why each night before I go to sleep
I look forward on waking up the next day
because I know, I will be with you again.
.
I still feel like I am dreaming
when I think about us being this way.
.
Pinch me now.
.
Am I only dreaming?
cuz if i am truly just dreaming…
.
my only wish is
.
never to wake up again.
.
.
Waking up, just lying in my bed,
I see the wind gently caressing the leaves outside my window.
Just like how you felt inside the circle of my arms
.
just last night. you and me.
.
I never wanted to let go.
I never wanted the night to end.
I never wanted to fall for someone so fast,
.
but whenever you are near me
I keep asking myself…
how do you do it?
How can you make it so easy for me to love you?
.
.
Waking up, just lying in my bed,
I see trees swaying peacefully outside my window,
.
Like how you can make my heart sway
whenever I see you smile at me.
And I am left just standing there,
breathless…
.

As you dash your fingers on my face,
hold my hand,
and kiss me on the cheek:
.
reminding me to breathe again.
.
.
Waking up, just lying here in bed,
I see the sky lying on top of the clouds outside my window.
.
Much like my mind
when I smell the sweet fragrance of your skin
from my fingers.
.
Making me think about
all the good things I did
as to what I have done
.
for heaven to reward me
with one of its most precious angels
which makes me pray and thank God at night
.
for you,
.
the one who makes me feel
like heaven exists here on earth.
.
.
Waking up, just lying here in bed,
I am not afraid of what tomorrow will bring
because I know I will still be with you
and only you…
.
And when I grow older,
I am looking forward to
.
wake up, lie in bed
.
beside you,
.
hold you close,
and once again,
.
still find forever
.
by looking into your angel eyes
again and again and again…
.
after so many years.

What is heaven for you?

What is heaven for you?

For me, I guess heaven would be me sitting calmly underneath coconut trees
in a beach with her facing the peaceful ocean

as the waves crash in the purest white sand,
while the sun reflects through the crystal blue water
that sparkles and blinds our eyes

from afar, making me wonder,

if heaven is this simple...

then i wish she can see me
the way i do

when i see her

so that she would understand

why at the end of the day
the only thing that can put me to sleep

is imagining her face beside me,
and just dissolving
inside the circle of her arms

that lets me float away quietly
with the calmness of the night
leaving me hoping, thinking and wishing,

for a woman that i can't seem
to get my mind off

as i doze off and leave the world behind...

in a heaven
that can only exist
in dreams..

for now…

=)

With me.

12/14/2004

Like him,
I can't take you to the most beautiful places the world can offer.

Like him,
I can't spoil you with endless shopping sprees, shower you with expensive gifts, offer you exotic flowers and indulge you with the most delicious chocolates.

Like him,
damn, I can't even see you everyday.


and maybe, just maybe

I can't love you
like him.

however
I do know this ,

with me,

and that is if you only take time to see,
that you, and only you, are my world.

The most beautiful place my eyes have laid upon on is right beside you,
just staring at the reflection of your majestic eyes
that shines through the crystal night.

with me,

I will strive to make you happy even in times of poverty and pain.

Spoil you like there’s no tomorrow by holding you close while gripping your hands, embracing your worries away,
and whispering to your angel ears,
"Don’t worry, everything will be all right".

with me,

If you haven’t noticed,
the days that only matter to me,

are those days that ends and starts with you.

nothing else girl. nothing else.

with me,

my feelings are discreetly kept,
sown forever between my heart and my soul,
where no place would ever know existed
because it is better that way,


because your eyes speak what your mouth doesn’t.

and that is,

you already belong to him,

and not with me. =,(

HOme sick

12/20/2004

It’s raining today. The raindrops keep falling like its never going end.

Barefoot I stand upon this moist foreign soil
as the blades of grass waves through the wind
welcoming my two precious naked feet.

It reminds me of the time when I was small as I run through the pouring rain.
Wherever my feet takes me, you will see me there.

I fly around our small village free like a bird escaping from my cage that I call home,
until my yaya would eventually catch me running with her tsinelas in her hand
scolding me for getting wet because she doesn’t want me to be sick.

Oh how I long to relive those days, when I did not care about a damn thing.

As long as I can run, I want to run far away from home… until the rain stops, until
the sun goes down, until there are a gazillion stars that is shining bright in the midnight sky.

Leaving my home is such a sweet adventure for me.
I would like to experience so many things before I grow too old to do all of it, and before
I become boring.

I want to stay away from home as long as I can.
I will not return.

Well, that’s if my tummy would let me because
As far as I know, my tummy is my clock
and it is in-synch with the time the sinigang made by my yaya will be cooked.

So till then I will be sleeping peacefully in my bed
dreaming of going to other places,
while the world revolves around my home,

and once again,

I come back standing in this foreign land facing a grown man with dirty feet

just feeling the opposite,
where no matter wherever he goes,
whatever adventures he may encounter,

home will always have a special place in his heart,
that he comes back again and again even in sleep.

f a l l I n g

f a l l I n g
11/7/2004

Like s ca tt er e d leaves blown helplessly by the wind,
My lost sentiments are thrown in a secret river,
silently floating like tiny rafts,
making its way to discover you.

A >fierce-current> pulls my heart
out of oblivion.

Making my ears blind,
and eyes deaf.

I am sinking
deeper by the minute.
Like melted iced emotions,
I unconsciously slide with the water.

Underneath
this raging river,
a solitary mouth whispers only your name,

it awakens a desolate mind
that suddenly becomes familiar
with words that it cannot know,

it liberates a soul
from the bars of confinement,
opening its eyes to the unexplained,
and feeling emotions that it chose to forget.

inches from me I see the end of this magnificent river
where all the water flow carelessly,
and fall a thousand feet from the edge of reasons.

swimming quickly the other way
to escape the fall,
I struggle to breathe as I keep my head up high,

Luckily, I break free from the water ‘s firm grip.

But I know its no use.

As long as my heart beats,
this crystal blue river will run forever throughout the gray horizon

eventually, the tides will find me
and carry me quietly
to your arms where I belong.

It’s only a matter of time now.

As I softly close my eyes,
with my hands behind my back

and pray,

that you will catch me
when you find me f a l l I n g,

like s ca tt er e d leaves blown helplessly by the wind,

from a tree that grew from your roots.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Simple Wish

10/15/2004


Just between you and me
I am just a man with a simple wish.
Don't you see?

She makes the incoherent seems so coherent
Liberating me with a small key
to my entangled chains of depression

Watching her move is like getting stuck in a dream
that goes on and on even if I wake up and open my eyes.
The whole world will be
stunned, astonished, mesmerized
when it uncovers her unblemished beauty.

The silhouette of her fingers, the outline of her back,
and the smooth texture of her skin
are like pieces of a precious painting
hidden in clustered vaults inside the minds of people like me
who are afraid that the world might discover her veiled splendor
and discreetly take her away.

Amid the silence and her sweet smile, music is played over and over.
Somewhere I hear someone is strumming the soft strings of his guitar
and she sings her heart out to me across the silver clouds and shining stars
that dips my soul into an overflowing river.

I have to follow my sleeping heartbeat on a cold night underneath the sands of the desert.

It doesn’t make sense, but it will, you will see.

Just between you and me
I am just a man with a simple wish…

hoping that she was mine.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(this poem is dedicated to the men who seem to fall for women who are “taken”)

move

9/16/2004

I feel like dragging my toes
into the sand of a deserted path,

while gazing at the fingerprints imprinted
on the leaves that I held on to.

I smell the carpet of flames
that the dark shadows used to torture me
right b4 I go to sleep

and
hear the candid tears tracing
d
___o
______w
________n
from the hearts
of the women who offered their love to me.

I sense danger, fear, and excitement.

I think it's time for me

to m o v e on.

Within

8/31/2004

I scream a ri v er of
Incessant
r
a
m
b
l
i
n
g
s
As a holocaust
of fear
dawns
upon me
and
s t e p on the dead leaves
of my past

I grasp fiercely the corolla of my rage
shattering mirrors of my own sorrows
waking up my sleeping eternal passions

I step forward
Into the light

triumphantly

and walk with my providence.

To the Woman I Just Met.

May 29, 2004

Intro…

I am now waiting for my ride, sitting here with my head resting on my hands.

From here, I can see where I met you, in front of the break room.

At my back is where we hang out and smoke just to kill time.

On my left, is the bookstore where you bought coffee as we read magazines and swap funny stories with each other…

Look at my right and you will see the a-side, the place where you taught me everything, the right and a bunch of wrong things you told me that I shouldn’t do. (hehe).

Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, poetry came in search of me.
The words came out from nowhere,
my feelings tapped me on my shoulder,
and I found it hard to breathe.

I think my heart skipped a beat.

Fuck….


>>>I think I am falling for you.

So many months have passed ever since I felt this.
This craving, this never-ending hunger to write again.
I know I promised myself to stop and throw my pen away.

However, you gave infinite reasons to write again.

I have to be honest,
A revelation ran through my head last night,
thoughts of you shipped in profusely
inside my confused brain,

Finally…
I think I have found my
inspiration.

---

To the Woman I Just Met.

Today is just the third day.

Maybe I have met you before.
I just don’t know
when,
where,
or how.
This cannot be ”just a coincidence”.

My head is still overflowing with countless memories of you,
so fresh, so clear,
and with so many vivid pictures of us stuck inside my head;

3
days
ago…

All I knew was,
I never wanted to close my eyes
when I first laid my eyes on you.

I offered my hand and you gave yours.
At that moment, I knew there was something about you.
Something unusual

I knew it was not right.

But, I just ignored it and continued to live my life silently.
but at the end of the day,
before I let my body doze off and sleep,
thoughts of you flooded my head.
and I found it hard to get sleep.

This can’t be happening.
I know it’s too early…

I feel so stupid to write this poem to you.
But how can I stop this urge?

In which even if I close my eyes
your angelic face emerges beneath the damp shadows of my life.

My soul has so many battlefield scars.
The way my life has now become,
it made me feel so
helpless,
frightened,
and dead.

I wanted to put an end on my existence before;
however, I knew there will come a moment in my life wherein
my spiritual life will provide me experiences

that are worth living for.

For me,
these would be these three days.

You claim yourself to be
naughty,
a rebel,
really wicked,
super crazy,
and a bad-ass chick,
but every time I look at your eyes...

I know….

you have a good soul
.
.
.
Today is just the third day.

Can you just imagine what will happen tomorrow?

WEAKNESS

I breeze through the roads of this foreign land now I call home.
As I walk alone, the wind gushes through my face in a fierce manner…
it brings with it the memories, fears, and hopes from my simple mind..

here I am again at your feet…

writing my thoughts in order to unleash these hidden feelings gathered inside me..

here goes..

================================================
6/6/2004

WEAKNESS

If not a brave soul living
dared enough to speak like this about you.

Well, allow me to stand out from the rest.

With just a glimpse of you, my w h o l e world stops moving.

I am simply mesmerized just by staring at your face,

it’s like gazing through the first traces of daylight
after waking up in the morning,
in which, the glow from your face
s l o w l y
illuminates my body up to the farthest corners of my soul.

When you smile,
armies of imprisoned souls are set free.

It fills hope to countless desolate minds,
including myself.
Just by smiling,
you have presented eternal life to my deceased spirit.

Hearing your voice is like listening to angels singing
as I kneel down and pray in front of heaven’s gates…

full of bliss and so calm, in which creates a melody of freedom.
releasing every emotion for you that I have felt…

I want to get drunk with the fragrance of your skin,

just the scent of it dissolves all my fears and insecurities
transforming them into parachutes of reasons to face whatever
adversities that I may encounter.


Being with you melts the
frozen ocean of fire
that I have built
with my bare hands.

You lure me to dive into the icy waters of love
that drowned me

before.

This time,
something inside me is telling me that
I finally found the one who can save me...


I am now having a hard time extinguishing these flames from reigniting…

So I ask myself now,

how can I not fall for you?
silently, I searched an answer to this question.

It came unexpectedly,

making a brave soul find its weakness…



you.

In my lifetime, I only consider two people that I have shared my soul with.

Today, I offer you mine.

Dedicated to the people who loves to read poetry

6/14/2004
by: bart

After you have read a person’s poem

you have used your naked eyes to strip that man’s flesh

ripped his heart open for your whole world to see

and shredded his brain into a million pieces.

It is up to you on how you take it in.

My
advice
for
you

is to just accept it with an honest heart because

after you have read a person’s poem


that is the only time

you have miraculously translated the scriptures of his soul.

A love kept

Thinking about you
Is like gasping for air
While trapped underneath a frozen lake

I struggle, I fight it
but eventually I know
I won't be able to sustain myself

A love kept
in between the heart and the soul
feels like eternity

I am bound to break free from this thin sheet of ice
as a barrage of emotions crawls up and breaks free

I need to spill it out

cuz it’s taking over me

cupid’s bow is aimed directly at me.

you will know soon...

silent bliss

12/30/03
I adore you from your silky-smooth, angelic hair
down to your cute little toes
however…

I don’t remember the feeling of touching your supple, delicate skin.

when our bodies were entwined together
underneath the stars
looking up at the bright night sky
and sharing the dreams we both believed in.

Can you believe that I have already forgotten how to kiss you?

when kissing you was the only way
I could close my eyes
and surrender my whole being
to someone who I entrust my whole heart with

I can’t even recall how to embrace you

when a hug wasn’t just a sign of affection
it was transforming my whole life
and offering my hands and every part of myself
to serve and take care of you
as long as you need it.

It is a very strange feeling indeed
because all I could only call to mind was how it felt inside and the way it meant

that single feeling
that makes me quiver in utter suspense
to see you with both my naked eyes,
to sit here beside me where you will always have a place,
and to feel your loving arms surround me
through good times or bad.

the sensation of knowing that tomorrow
I can still stroke your long, shiny hair
and talk about anything that comes to mind.

the freedom of simply seeing you talk,
the way you react when I tease and tickle you,
the way you look when we laugh at each other,
and noticing the transition of your facial expression
when you get mad while I try to undo it by
giving you a hug.

I still cling to those moments like a man possessed
and I do not have the slightest intentions of letting it go.

I still love you even if we have decided to part ways
even if I have kissed a million mouths
and if that means being involved to countless women.

at the end of the day it will still be you and nobody else

I will still crave for those little things that we do together
and surely

I will still long for that certain indescribable feeling
that brings me to so many definitions that
made me name only but a few.

If this is the way for me to get on with my life
then so be it

but do not forget that
being with you
froze my whole universe and brought life back to me
it squeezed the stars among the vast black sky
resulting to a collaboration of exquisite events
that led me to a silent bliss every time you are near me

that only you and nobody else
can make me feel.

Distance

06/12/03
I think about you when I open my eyes
Hoping that what I see next
Is the sunbeam
of your two almond-shaped diamond eyes
Which lightens me
Up to the farthest corners of my soul

I think about you when I close my eyes
Inside my utopian dream world
A place wherein I can be in peace
Just feeling your breath
And your loving arms around me
Just filling me with tranquillity
Through the depths of my subconscious mind

Sometimes I just want to quit
It is so hard not to see you
I cannot take the distance
A silent voice inside of me screams very loudly
I want to be with you now
I know it will be quite some time
But I just know we will make it
It’s you and me for always
As long as we both shall live

I am craving you badly,
I never loved someone like this
And nobody ever loved me this way before
Dear God, let her be the one please
My eyes are playing tricks on me
My heart beats faster and faster
I am infuriated
I never longed for something this way
I close my eyes forcefully
I open them and tears flow out





Spending time with you shook my being
Every minute with you froze
It’s a different feeling
It made me believe I’m so blessed
It made me embrace life more,
It built a burning desire
A craving nothing could please
Except to hold you again

I can’t believe that time flies so fast
Being with you makes me so happy
I never looked forward to seeing tomorrow
Until now
Because I know that for every day that passes
It brings me closer and closer to seeing you
holding you, touching you,
kissing you, hugging you
and feeling your body next to mine.

Just the thought of spending time with you
Makes me excited day in and day out
It’s like adrenaline rising up to my body continuously
Just hearing your voice creates an echo of illusions
It is like a tidal wave that affects me as a whole
Which drowns me and make me forget
my moments of solitude
It is an indescribable force that takes over
A power that is so fierce that it can make me forget
That I exist

Breath-taking sunrises have passed by
But you know I’d trade it to see you bey
It’s incomparable to your bright smile
And your beaming personality
The sun sets and the majestic moon rises again
Another day has passed silently
My loneliness temporarily disappears
Because I know
it’s time to be with you again



I slowly open my eyes and
I awake from my dream
Just smiling, ablaze and happy
Because You kissed me gently and
you softly whispered in my ear,
“It will be us no matter what…”

---

my first ever poem :p

Silence.

04 29 04

I can’t breathe
feeling stucked up, squeezed by four walls.

dark, damp, dangerous

just like standing inside an elevator
speeding like a bullet from a gun pointed downwards to the brown soil of the earth...

;silent death.

john mayer’s words not penetrating.

stay still
shut up
can’t take it anymore
leave me alone.

You can’t reach me i’m too far from you now.
Sleeping is not an escape.

now a lonely
tortured soul.

p a i n.

STOP!

numb.
empty.
death.
...
…
…

and all i can hear is silence.

fuck love. its not worth it.

still…

me = bitter fucked up individual looking for love wherever I may find it and whom I can share with.. (a sucker for love i suppose)

I’ll take whatever chances..
come hell or high waters..
i’ll do anything.

I wanna live
come with me.

breathe,
wake me up
from this slumber of silence.

Silent Wars

Nov. 25, 2003

It scares me when I think about it
I come crawling again
Into a familiar path
But I found myself lost once again

As the bright crescent moon slowly hovers around this path
like a lamp in an eerie sea of darkness
I see the same shadows probing behind the walls of my sanity

I am alone again.

In the dark, where I lay beside a twisted, perverse abyss
which sucked and slandered the core of my being.
The hole that became solely responsible for the
fierce winds that severely battled from
where the banners of my life faced to,
seem to die and fade out slowly.

it starts a surreptitious flame

and spreads incessantly,
creating an inferno
underneath my
desiccated
skin

I am stunned.
Because I know this signals
the start of the revolution.

The red flag has been raised
the silent wars beneath me
has begun.
(2)
Confusion circles inside my mind
like a rapturous vulture
with starving, deadly eyes
feasting on its bloodied, powerless prey.
Its daunting presence belligerently
freezes my brain
that bluntly distorts my ideas
and raises infinite doubts in everything that I believe in.

Day in and day out the spherical walls
that I have built to protect me are penetrated easily.

I am vulnerable again.

Inside
this newly-worn, sturdy, shiny mask
that has shielded me before
and deceived more people than I could ever have imagined
seems to be valuable again

(3)
I psyche myself to fight back
I spit out blood that originated deeply from my roots
and it fills my veins with wrath.
Then I retaliate.
With every limb on my body,
I use all the strength that I have
and fight it like there is no tomorrow.

Yet,
I stumble
and fall into this pit of darkness
Twisting and nibbling on
what is left inside me

I silently plunge down into the
subconscious depths of this familiar territory
and gaze upward,
just admiring the zenith of my soul.

A dilemma abruptly whacks me in the face
And raises an unanswerable, ironic question…

How come you made it so simple for me to love
someone like you
but
when its time for me
to let you go

I find myself descending through a bottomless hell and battling the silent wars from within?